Category: Jul/Aug 2010

Stood Up

Being stood up for a date or any other event is frustrating and disappointing, but it happens to everyone. Here is some advice for when it happens to you:

#1– Don’t Get Angry

Emergencies happen. Things can take longer to wrap up than anticipated. You can get stuck in traffic. All of these things can happen to your date. If you don’t hear from your them, call and see if everything is okay. If they don’t answer, avoid panic or frustration. Leave a message voicing your concern, and ask them to call you back. Then find something fun to do until they return your call.

#2– Avoid Mind Games

If someone has hurt you don’t give them the silent treatment or avoid the topic. Directly communicate your hurt or disappointment in your spoiled plans. Avoid speaking out of anger or bitterness. Also, avoid playing mind games with yourself. When you’re stood up, don’t create scenarios or accusations. Don’t jump to conclusions when you don’t have any facts.

#3– Let It Go

Sometimes even the most dependable of people forget what day it is. If you’re upset, take some time to cool off, communicate your frustration, and simply reschedule the event. It’s not worth holding on to.

Pursuing Your Passions

It’s easy to forget that the word “passion” isn’t a word merely reserved for the bedroom. The passions we have in life shape us as individuals. It’s what attracts others to us. It’s what helps us live life to the fullest.

Finding Your Passion

It seems the hardest part about passions is finding one. It’s easy to decide what you like and dislike, but finding something that brings you to life is another issue.

The most rewarding of passions are the ones that assist others. This can be anything from creating awareness of a condition to volunteer work at a community center. Local churches usually have opportunities for creating services for others, and are a great place to start looking.

Another excellent type of passion is the kind involving self-expression. Writing, art, dance, music, and crafting all fall under this category. This genre of interests involve individual creativity and symbolism. They are great self-esteem boosters and it’s easy to connect with others.

There are some things you should avoid when it comes to passions: For one, don’t choose to pursue anything that will create slander against others or creates tension. If your passion is politics or journalism, try not to create unnecessary stresses by attacking others. Sooner or later, people will start attacking you back and your conversations with your partner and friends will dwindle down to angry rants of people who are against you.

And secondly, don’t take on activities that create problems within your relationships. Any passion in which you disappear for months at a time is not something to insist upon when you have a family and spouse. Your passions shouldn’t exclude or alienate others, but instead create conversations and more exciting relationships.

Sharing Your Passions

Don’t make the mistake of trying to drag your partner into your passion. If you completely love ballroom dancing and your partner would rather fake an injury, your enthusiasm for the hobby will decrease quickly. Better to throw yourself into it and let your partner admire you for it than dragging them into it.

Does that mean to never share your passion and smile and nod whenever your partner talks about theirs? Absolutely not. Just don’t expect them to be as excited about your book club as you are. But that shouldn’t keep you two from discussing the plot of the latest novel you’re reading.

When sharing your passions with your partner, don’t make them feel obligated to remember every detail. Also, refrain from using a lot of terms that your partner’s not going to know. Less is more. Start out by giving bare-bone descriptions of your activities, and if they seem to hold up the conversation well, add in more details. You should always have friends to share your passions with, that way your partner doesn’t feel pressured to share in your passions with you.

If your partner is sharing his/her passions with you, there’s a good chance you won’t be as into it as they are, however, be sure to listen to their adventures and ask questions about their projects. If it’s something you know very little about, why not try it? Regardless of whether or not you fall in love with it, your partner will appreciate the gesture.

If you both have the same passion, great! Just be careful not to try to out-do each other or criticize. Each person has their own style when it comes to things, so try to admire each other for your differences. Compliment each others strengths, and assist each other with weaknesses.

Passionate Individually

As wonderful as it is to share your passions, doing things solo has its advantages. Doing all the same activities as a couple makes for boring conversation. Reminiscing about your bike ride with your partner on the side of a mountain is a much shorter conversation then telling your partner about the three crazy friends you went up some trails with.

Single individuals will have an easier time pursuing their passions then those that are attached. As wonderful as relationships are, they take a lot of attention and time– time that can be used to explore your passions. If you’re single, this is your time to find out what you truly want to pursue in life. If you’re attached, this is your time to strengthen your relationship by sharing what you love with your significant other.

Passions are an important part of living and shouldn’t be taken for granted. As individuals, your passions will enrich your life. As partners, your passions should enrich your relationship.

Beach Date

Your date on the beach doesn’t have to be a sunset in Hawaii for it to be romantic and adventurous. No matter what coast you’re close to, you can have a fantastic date in the sun and sand.

Beach Sports

There’s a lot of water at the beach – so play in it! Anything from snorkeling to sailing is available. Is your sweetie an awesome surfer? Ask them for lessons! Have you both wanted to try parasailing but never got around to trying it? Sign up for instruction! Check out beaches near you to see what rentals and classes are available. If you don’t want to get in the water, practically any beach you go to has a volleyball net or basketball court. A little competitiveness might be just what your date night needs. For a more casual sand sport, take a football or flying discs with you.

Citylife

One of the great things about beaches is that each one has shops and restaurants that you’d never find in your own city. Beach cities can be just as fun as the sand. Keep an eye out for beach city events, such as art walks, concerts, or pirate reenactments. Explore local shops and restaurants for one-of-a-kind products and dishes.

Stroll Down Boardwalks and Piers

Beach boardwalks and piers usually hold some sort of entertainment or shopping. Anything from arcades to museum exhibits to ice cream parlors to amusement parks are available for you and your date to explore. Piers are the best places to view the ocean, and are also good places to go fishing if you don’t have a boat. Boardwalks and piers are also the best places to stroll while holding hands… so keep that in mind!

Child’s Play

Why should kids have all the real fun? All those fun things you did at the beach as a kid are still permitted while you’re an adult. The beach is perfect for flying kites, digging holes, or make s’mores at the fire pits. Build a sand castle, with or without tools. Build a sand dragon and village to go with it. Don’t know anything about castles? Build a sand mansion with a 2 car garage.

Scavenger Hunt

Make a list of things to find on the beach. Use the list provided or create your own!

If You Don’t Live Close to a Beach

There are other ways to enjoy the thrills of the beach, even if you don’t live near the coast.

Outdoor Beach Party

Lay out an oversized beach blanket or a few beach towels in the backyard. Make daiquiris or lemonade and set up a picnic basket with seafood, or fresh-off-the-grill hamburgers. Set up a volleyball net or– if your yard is big enough– play flying discs. If you really want to do something memorable, pick up a couple of grass skirts from a local party store and try your hips at the hula. Fill up a kiddie pool or large storage container with sand. Dig your toes in it, try making a sand castle, or hide gifts for your sweetheart to find. Now you have a fantastic “beach picnic” even though you’re not anywhere close to the ocean. Indoor

Beach Dinner

Fill your kitchen with beach scented candles. If you want, you can even turn the heater up so it feels like beach temperatures. Decorate the table with seashells and mini umbrellas that you put in drinks. (Available at all party stores.) Look on the web for restaurants near the beach and then make your own meal inspired by the menu. Fill a couple of storage containers with sand and put them at you and your sweetheart’s feet. Now you can dig your toes in the sand while you eat!

The beach is wonderful inspiration for romance, no matter where you’re physically located. Let the beauty of the sea and sand spark your creative juices for your next date night.

Inseparable

“We didn’t like being separated,” Bette replied when asked how she knew her lifelong neighbor, James, was the one she was meant to spend the rest of her life with.

Even at 93 years old, Bette smiles when she thinks of her one and only love; the man she met as a child in Sunday school. They were married nearly 40 years before his passing in 1979, but time has no power over her fond memories of him.

“I think he liked my blue eyes,” she said, “But he had blue eyes too, so I didn’t see what the difference was.”

Love-at-first-sight was not part of their story. They had mutual friends that frequently went out dancing, picnicking, and beach exploring together. Because of this, James and Bette were always with each other.

It wasn’t until Bette’s sister decided to go to Santa Barbra for college that romance burst into existence. Bette followed her sister out to Santa Barbra for school, but no matter how many classes she took, she knew that her heart wasn’t built for schooling. She missed her family, her friends, and even the neighbor she spent most her life ignoring.

Three months later, the door bell rang. Bette opened the door to find James, unable to stay away from the woman he had grown up with and grown fond of. From then on, they were exclusive. James was her first real boyfriend; and both of them had every intention for long-term commitment as soon as the relationship started. There wasn’t even a need for an official marriage proposal.

“I just said, ‘Do you want to get married on Easter?’, and we did.”

So what was the secret to their lifelong relationship? “Not keeping grudges,” Bette says. Regardless of her efforts, her husband was not the type to argue. He simply moved past any dispute between them. With no harsh words to hold on to, problems dissolved and were forgotten.

And they are still forgotten. After 40 years of marriage and five children, the only regret Bette has is not being able to live our more of her days beside her one and only love.

Gift Idea: Poetry Book

What You Will Need:

  • A 4×6 photo book
  • A package of 4×6 index cards or scrapbook cardstock
  • A printer or art supplies to decorate your index cards with

Create a collection of poetry for your sweetheart. This is a simple idea, but be forewarned that it takes a lot of thought and effort! Decide what poems to put in the book. Here are some collection ideas:

  • An arrangement of poems by your sweetheart’s favorite poet
  • Collection of themed poetry: love poems, sonnets, poems about the sea, limericks, etc
  • Favorite and sentimental romantic song lyrics
  • A collection of your own poetry, dedicated to them
  • Your wedding vows

The second thing to decide is how to present your poetry. There are a few options:

  • Put a excerpt on the front of the card and then type the full poem out on the back
  • Section one long poem to take up the entire book
  • Alternate between poetry and photographs of you two

Tips on Writing Your Own Poem

Need inspiration on writing poetry for your love? Try starting out with these subjects:

Think of Where You First Met
What was the weather like? What were you wearing? What stands out about the building you were in? Environment is a great way to set up a poem.

What made you fall for him/her? What’s beautiful about him/her?
What was it that made you take a second look? What personality traits do you love about him/her? What do his/her eyes remind you of? What personality traits of his/hers do you think make him/her beautiful? When you look him/her over, what stands out to you most?

Acknowledge Your Faults
We all have our faults; problems that we bring into the relationship. as forgetting dates, never saying the right words, or getting self-centered from time to time. It happens. Acknowledge it. Appreciate your love for being patient with you. (You too, ladies!)

Imagine the World Without Them
If your love disappeared tomorrow—no explanation– how would you feel? Lost? Scared?
Angry at the world? Angry at yourself? What would you miss about them? Write down what thoughts you might have if they disappeared or left you.