This seems to be question behind many marketing strategies these days. Why should you have to wait on a slow internet connection? Why wait in line at Disneyland when you can get a Fastpass? Why wait for something to cook in the oven when you can put it in the microwave?
The world has been flooded with impatience. Not that there’s anything wrong with getting a faster internet connection, but there is a problem when we become so consumed by instant gratification that we complicate and destroy our lives.
Such is the issue with sex. It is an instant gratification issue that people have accepted, same as a faster internet connection or using the microwave. However, people fail to see that the consequences of premarital sex have a bigger impact than other forms of instant gratification. The consequences of emotional distress, pregnancies, and diseases have conveniently been forgotten because of a small string of widely held defenses.
But these defenses have holes in them.
“Sex isn’t really that sacred. It’s just for fun.”
A relationship in itself has value. We wouldn’t hold relationships with one another if they had no value. If sex is an expression of your relationship, then it too has value.
Even the media knows that sex has value; marketing value. Sprinkle in a little sex with your sitcoms, commercials, and music and you get more viewers, buyers, and listeners. Sex has marketing value because it is valuable to the public.
If sex has no value, then why do we try so hard to satisfy our urges? If something is important to us, it is constantly on our minds. If it didn’t have worth, then we would not spend so much energy on it. And because sex is important to us, we compromise until we get what we want, even by telling ourselves that it’s not as valuable as it really is.
“It’s part of human nature. To deny your natural urges is unhealthy.”
People confuse sex as a need. Food and water are needs; if you deny yourself of these needs, your body and mind will fail . Your body and mind will not fail if you choose to wait for sex until marriage. There is an argument that says if a person denies sexual urges when they arise that it will cause that person psychological damage, but society has conveniently confused sexual self-control with sexual repression for the sake of winning an argument.
Abstinence and sexual repression are two different things. Sexual repression has to do with guilt and fear that keeps a person from having anything to do with sex, not how often the person has it. Think of it in this way: people who have repressed memories do not have this because they do not use their memories often enough. They have repressed memories due to the negative emotions attached to them. Choosing to regard sex as something that holds high value is far from unhealthy. In fact, it will help you make better decisions which lead to fewer sexual problems and a healthier psychological state.
“It’s my body; my decisions on what I do with it only affect me.”
Even when we think people aren’t watching, they are. Everything we say and do has an affect on others, regardless of it being “personal” or not. Even our own thoughts ripple out into society, because whatever we think affects our actions and speech, and those in turn affect others.
Humans beings will naturally compare themselves to one another. When someone respects or looks up to a person, he will mimic that person. A child who is proud of his father will most likely be as kind or as rude as he is. When you admire somebody and refer to them as a good person, you will align your actions with theirs. Even in the sexual realm.
Think of the possibilities of who and what your sex life can affect. It can affect your relationship with your parents. It can affect the actions of your siblings and family members. It can affect your future husband or wife. It can affect your partner’s future husband or wife. It can affect the actions of your friends. It can affect the actions of your children or other people’s children that look up to you. Your sex life affects you– and you affect other people.
“I’m very responsible when it comes to sex. I make sure my partners do not have any sexual diseases and we always use a condom.”
As adults, we are responsible for many things, such as work, family, and bills. Now say you have a $200 car payment due by the end of the week, which is just the exact amount you have available in your bank account. Despite your car payment, there is a product you really want that costs $100, and will only be on sale for that week. So you decide to spend half your money on this product, and half your money on your car payment so you don’t get in trouble. Does this make you just as responsible? Of course not. Trading in what is best for what you want is not mature nor is it responsible. You have dodged the consequences, but you have also compromised the best action. Responsibility is not about what you can get away with, but what the best response to a situation is.
And since when did condoms become guarantees? And when did people forget how to lie? Someone can tell you that they are a virgin or have no sexual diseases, but that proves nothing. Nobody is above denial or stretching the truth a little to get what they want. If there are consequences, who are you to them? Satisfying an urge might be your entire worth to someone.. Whether or not you catch a disease or become pregnant is not a concern. Without a ring on your finger and a license in city hall, there is absolutely nothing stating that someone cares about you enough to take responsibility for your relationship.
Abstinence is more than just preventing pregnancy and STDs. It is about sharing a deep, intimate relationship with your husband or wife that is separate from any other relationship. Abstinence not only deepens your relationship with your future spouse, but it also protects your life the sexual chaos of such things as unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and complicated relationships. Your sex life should never be complicated. It should be something you can enjoy to the fullest.
The idea of abstinence is not that sex is bad. Sex is anything but bad. Looking forward to sex is as pure as looking forward to your 21st birthday or being excited about buying a new car. It gives you something to be excited about and work towards. But you don’t celebrate your 21st birthday at 19, and you don’t buy a car on blocks because it’s the first thing that is available. You wait for the right time for these things because waiting makes it that much better. Compromising and doing things sooner than they should be done is settling. Sex before marriage is settling. Instead of asking “Why wait?” the question should become “Why settle?”