If you are interested in someone, you look for certain behaviors that determine whether or not your feelings are returned. When you find those behaviors, you are confident that your love interest is interested in you as well.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always true. Sometimes a relationship never develops. Then there are a lot of hurt and confused feelings, and possibly ruined friendships.

Pay close attention to what sort of vibe you are sending out to the opposite sex. If you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship with someone, there are a few behaviors you should avoid:

1– Don’t flirt
Flirting is the biggest behavior people look for when they want to know whether or not someone is interested. Save flirting until you actually are interested in someone. Don’t be tempted to “practice”; it will only leave the other person confused and hurt. Avoid flirting with selfish intentions.

2– Don’t touch
Light touching, such as letting your hands linger or massaging, is a form of flirting. Touch is a very intimate action. And when you touch someone of the opposite sex in a romantic manner, you’re sending a message that says you’re attracted and interested. Even if you are attracted to someone, keep your hands to yourself if you’re not interested in pursuing a committed relationship. Physical contact for the sake of physical contact is selfish, not romantic.

3– Specifically for the men: Don’t buy her dinner
Chivalry is great, guys, but unless you’re just helping out a girl short on change, she’s going to think you’re buying her dinner because you’re interested in her. Men buying dinner is part of the dating routine. If you’re not on a date, don’t buy her dinner.

4– Don’t spend a lot of time alone together
Spending time alone together is intimate. It’s one thing to share a group of friends and spend time with everyone on a regular basis, it’s another to spend a lot of time exclusively together. Exclusive time together is a form of intimacy. Especially for women, whose main path of forming deep relationships is through one-on-one conversation, which is inevitable in time alone together.

5– Don’t leave mixed signals
You’re either interested in a relationship with someone or you aren’t. If you’re not sure, don’t try to unofficially date to find out. If you want to find out more about a person, spend time together in group settings, but stay away from the temptation to exclusively pursue someone unless you’re positive about them. Dodging a decision is sending a mixed signal. You’re either all in, or you’re completely out.

And a 6th one I could put is “Don’t forget to communicate.” If you’re interested, say it. If you’re not, say it. Don’t leave anything up for translation. The easiest way to hurt someone is to leave them to translate your actions. Be honest and open about your intentions. Otherwise, all you’re going to do is cause a lot of pain and confusion.