Male pursuit is incredibly important, whether you’re a single man or a married one. The more the man pursues, the more the woman feels secure and desired, which means she will feel more comfortable in opening up and responding to the pursuit. This results in a fuller, deeper relationship.

Gentlemen, here are the ways to pursue the woman you currently have your sights on:

Find Time for Conversation
Always have an open-ended question ready when you see her. A woman connects most with conversation. In fact, when she’s daydreaming about you, she’s thinking about things that you’ve talked about, jokes you’ve told, and questions you’ve asked her. Conversation cultivates emotional intimacy. Go out of your way to start a conversation with her, whether it’s for two minutes or half hour. As her about her interests, her life, and her opinions.

If you’re married, the same advice applies. Take out time during your day to spend in conversation with your wife. Write it down in your to-do list for the day, and resolve not to go to bed until you have at least asked her how her day was.

Talk to Her Parents
Although the idea may seem out of date, you should always talk to a woman’s father about pursuing her. This gesture shows great respect to both the family and to the woman. When you talk to a woman’s father, the woman says to herself, “This man is so serious about me that he’s willing to be held accountable by my father (or another male role model). He must truly care for me more than any woman.” This shows that you are a mature man in want of commitment. And a woman is more likely to respond to commitment than flirtatious banter.

As for the man who is all ready part of the family, this may not apply; however, a good relationship with a woman’s family is important. Spend time with her father or other male role model to keep yourself accountable and respectable.

Compliment Her
Married or single, in private or in public, compliments are a huge relationship boost. Women love compliments and public adoration as much as men do. Compliments also show a woman that you pay attention to who she is as a person. Don’t only compliment her looks, but compliment her personality, her skills, and her tastes as well. Show her that you admire her completely in every aspect.

Be Chivalrous
Open doors, pull out chairs, pay for her dinner. Don’t think of these things as “old-fashioned,” but instead as things that have been tested and proved successful. Special chivalrous attention to a woman shows your interest. Chivalry is not dead – it is, in fact, a great way to pursue.

Chivalry is important in a marriage as well. Even though your wife may not expect chivalry from you, you should still be willing to give it for the sake of your relationship. A little bit of chivalry goes a long way, even if it you don’t feel appreciated. The motivation should not be how she responds to your acts – the motivation should be showing love to your spouse.

Don’t Give Up
There are many stories out there of men who pursued women who turned them down a number of times. Some of these stories end with a walk down the aisle. Rejection from a woman can happen for many reasons: she may have been recently hurt, she may be unsure of your intentions, or she may just be overwhelmed with life at the moment. If you are rejected, take a step back, give her space, but continue to pursue her if you truly are interested in a life-long commitment.

And married men should never stop pursuit. Constant pursuit is necessary for constant intimacy. If a man stops pursuing, the woman starts doubting. She will ask herself if your interest in her has ebbed, and she will clam up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. One of the best ways to keep your relationship healthy, romantic, and intimate is persistent pursuit of your wife.

What Not to Do:
DO NOT pursue more than one woman at a time. If you really care for a woman, you pursue her and only her. Any other formula will backfire on you and breaks hearts.

DO NOT stalk or harass her. Avoid looking at her Facebook page every 20 minutes, calling her twice a day, or trying to trick her into going out with you. This isn’t pursuing, this is being overbearing, possessive, and – frankly – really creepy.

DO NOT demand something in return for your pursuits. You are pursuing her in order to build a more intimate relationship, and that can take time. Pursuing isn’t always easy, but it will not go unnoticed. Just be patient.