Sex drives are irritating beasts. Just when you think you’ve tamed it, it attacks you; and just when you think you’ve outran it, it jumps in front of you.

As Christians, we recite the rules involving our sex drives:

→ “I shouldn’t have sex before marriage.”
→ “I shouldn’t think about that guy/girl in that way. That’s lust.”
→ “I shouldn’t cross any physical boundary lines with this person.”

It seems to me that these thoughts don’t solve our problem, they just end up confusing and frustrating us. We question them.  What are the physical boundary lines I’m not supposed to cross?  Why can’t I think of this person in this way – just for a little while?  We recite the rules, but they don’t keep us out of trouble.  Their weight doesn’t even really impact us.

Sometimes “the rules” end up being nothing more than something similar to a rubberband snapping against our wrists whenever we have an impure thought. Is that helping us stay pure?  Does reciting the rules keep us from crossing boundary lines?

I want to suggest redirecting our thoughts. We focus so much on what God has told us not to do, that it’s we forget why He set up the boundaries in the first place. It has to do with wanting the best for us. It has to do with wanting to give us full, radical intimacy.  The reasons for the rules are actually incredibly exciting!

So try these thoughts on for size instead:

→ “I want to wait for sex until marriage because I know that will make it more rich than anything I can have right now.”
→ “My sex drive is bothering me today, but I know God intends to fulfill the desires He’s given me in due time. So I just have to pray and wait, not get frustrated or antsy.”
→ “Even though I could explore this physical act with this person now, it would be more exciting and satisfying to explore it with my future husband/wife later.”

God did not come up with rules to torture us, but to give us something more rewarding. If we dwell on what we can’t have or what’s forbidden, we will miss out on not only contentment as single individuals, but on the satisfying results of waiting for physical involvement until marriage. God can help us change our thoughts to be something more than just a weak rubberband snapping against our wrists. He can help us change it into a great hope and anticipation; a desire to wait and be satisfied while doing so.