When you hear the phrase “your bedroom” what do you think of? Do you think of serenity and warmth? Or do you think of a laundry pile shoved in the corner and a desk of unidentified papers?

Swamped by work, kids, and chores, too often the bedroom you share with your spouse becomes a storage room or a glorified office. Your bedroom, however, has three major purposes:

#1– It is a place to connect intimately
Strong marriages are those that connect intimately on a daily basis. The first thing you will see in the morning and the last thing you will see at night is your spouse right next to you. These are two wonderful opportunities to spend time together connecting, whether it be emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Schedule a little time each day to meet and connect. Take electronic distractions out of the bedroom so you can focus on deepening your relationship with your spouse.

#2– It is a place for escape and restoration
It’s really difficult to connect with your spouse when all you can think about is that pile of work on the desk that you need to sort through. Your bedroom should not be your office, your entertainment center, or your garage. Have you ever noticed that when your room is trashed, it’s harder to relax and restore yourself? Keep your room simple and clean, making it an oasis from every day life. Don’t use your room as a place to escape from your spouse, but use it when you want to escape with your spouse. This will not only restore you, but your relationship as well.

#3 – It is a place to resolve conflicts and communicate
Have you ever been to a therapist or a counselor? Once you walk into their office you know that you are in a safe place where you can talk openly and seriously about hard issues. If your bedroom meets the first two purposes stated above, then the room itself should have a feeling of strength and safety. These two things are important when hard times and rough situations arise. Use your bedroom as a safe place to come together as a couple to pray and discuss tough issues the two of you are facing.

Every married person’s bedroom should include:
A lock – for your privacy away from your kids or anyone else that lives with you.
A hamper – you know that dirty laundry exists, but don’t force yourself to look at it!
Well chosen linens – Choose soft or luxurious bedsheets and draperies that inspires romance and relaxation. (Egyptian cotton, silk, or satin are some great fabric choices.)
Low lighting – great for setting a serene and amorous mood.